Friday, November 28, 2008

To Good Home Only!!! (satire)

For Sale to Good Home Only!!!

11.2H pony mare, very pretty color and an easy keeper! She hardly needs much food and her feet are great, she is barefoot! She has done everything, jumping, polo, trails, leadline, pony parties. She loves kids, and teaches them a lot.

I have no choice but to sell or give her away to a good home only or she will go to auction tomorrow. The pasture is gone now and well, you know how the economy is, and I just can't afford to feed her for the winter. She is 25 years old, but doesn't look a day over 10! She can't chew hay anymore, and you know, its just such a pain to have to buy a special feed for her, and to actually have to bring a bucket of hay cubes in the house to soak for her to chew.

She loves kids, and only does a few pony tricks, like the old drop & deke maneuver, but all kids know how to deal with that. She knows how to stand forever while she is being kicked in the ribs, too, but if a grownup just gets her started, she goes alright. She knows when a half hour is up though, and then she's done.

But, she's really cute, and a pretty color, so you could breed her!!! She's only 25, and you know ponies live to like 50, so she's still plenty young enough to breed.

The first person that shows up with a trailer and cash gets her, or she goes to auction. You know what will happen to a fat old pony at an auction, so it won't be my fault because you didn't buy her before I had no choice. Or I will trade her for a chainsaw, or an ATV, or tractor, or a breeding hound dog, or one of them thar pretty painted kinda horses.

See how great she is? Come get her before my kid gets home from school. I just really can't manage to feed her anymore.


So anybody that knows me, knows that this post was nothing more than satire. Yes, Whinney is ancient. Yes, Whinney can no longer chew hay and is sucking the flavor out and leaving wads of hay all over the paddock. Yep, I've spent the last week going to the ends of the earth (or at least New Haven County) looking for hay cubes that are soakable and OK for an IR pony. She's getting chilly at night because she can't eat enough hay t keep herself warm, so now requires a blanket at night.
She is still as fat and sassy as ever, and will not be leaving.
But I have read SO MANY ads just like the one I wrote above. I just couldn't resist.

1 comment:

Chilton's Mom said...

Hi Michelle,

I am pretty new to blogging so it took me a little time to get back with you (had to learn how to blog properly). Thank you for leaving some information about my Bashkir Curly Pony (still pending---DNA testing to get him registered). Boy is he hard to get weight off of. I have him in a dry lot with my little 18 year old shetland pony, and I only feed them round hay with 1 cup of 11% sweet a day. I have to feed them both a little sweet feed because my sheltand has to have MSM in her feed for arthritus. I ride him about 2 to 3 times a week for about 30 minutes to an hour, but he is still as fat as ever. I don't know how to get that weight off. If you have any suggestions please let me know. I cannot seperate them (so I won't have to give him the sweet feed- because they are best friends, and the heifers I have on the rest of my land get cattle feed daily, and I know that the ponies would try to push in on that and get foundered). He is great!! I can ride him anythere-in the subdivision across the street on the very hilly farm behind me, over logs, etc... I just don't have the time to ride him every day. I am going to try to get him out more often than a couple of times a week maybe that and longer rides will help, bu after about an hour or longer my knees start going numb and hurting a little because they are wrapped around such a barrel belly.

Love you ponies that I saw on your blog. Keep on the good work.

Chilton's Mom